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Wedding Traditions - The Bridesmaids Tea

Once the bride-to-be has selected her wedding attendants, she may want to consider holding a small party to thank the dear friends and family who will be by her side on the big day. Elegance is the sought-after characteristic of this party which in the past has been an afternoon tea or a small luncheon. And, while it's always the most gracious to entertain at home, lunching at a favorite restaurant or bistro is an attractive option.

Since bridesmaids were such an important part of the wedding party in Victorian times, devoting much time and trouble to their many duties, the bride-to-be was lavish in her thanks to them. In Great-Grandmother's day, out came the best silver tea service, fine china, and fresh flowers. Lacy white tablecloths were a backdrop for tiered dessert stands and silver napkin rigs, as petits fours, fruit tarts, lobster salad, and watercress sandwiches were presented in all their glory. Warm afternoon breezes would be caught on a veranda or the buzz of honey-fat bees heard in the garden if the tea took place in the summer, Ice-cold fruit drinks poured in crystal goblets punctuated the soothing heat. In winter, the fireside or dining room would be the setting for a party as merry and gay at the holiday season. Gracing soups and warm breads would precede the grand finale - the "bridesmaids' cake."Made from flour sifted by the bride herself for good luck, this delectable creation was more than beautiful. It was as exciting as a visit to a fortune teller. For inside this special white-frosted layer cake the Victorian bride would have backed secret silver charms, each a talisman of wedding lore. As the bride sliced into the cake, her friends waited expectantly. One lucky maiden would receive a silver knot symbolizing the steadfastness of love. A heart promised romance, while a silver cat predicted an old maid! Whoever received a dime would receive fortune, and a silver wishbone portended good luck. Scissors implied busy hands, and the best charm of all, the silver ring, foretold the next to marry. With all this at stake, you might wonder: Could the bride tell whee the charms were hidden? Tiny butter cream rosebuds or silver dragées was on way used to mark their location by a wily hostess.

The bridesmaids' tea is a lovely custom well worth the effort involved, because it brings you closer to your friends at this very emotional time. When the heat of the spotlight gets too intense, it's nice to be able to share it. Most brides like to hold this celebration shortly before the wedding, when emotions are running high. There are many ways to stage this delightful gathering besides the traditional at-home affair. The bridesmaids' tea need not be a tea at all. Brunch at a museum restaurant is wonderful; a picnic in a beautiful formal garden is a rare treat, as would be a visit to a beauty salon for a day of pampering. You may want to consider a car service to whisk you away to a vineyard, where your and your friends could sample fine wines and enjoy the pleasures of a slowly unfolding afternoon.

There is always a special moment when the bride-to-be brings forth her gifts for her bridesmaids. While the rehearsal dinner is the occasion when the bridal party with special gifts and mementos, some brides prefer to use the bridesmaids' tea for this purpose, as it may be more private.

Excerpt from "A Bride's Book of Wedding Traditions" by Arlene Hamilton Stewart

• The home of the Bride-to-Be
• Your favorite Bistro
• An elegant hotel (Like the Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island)
• A Local Vineyard with a Garden Cafe
• A Beach Side Cafe or Golf Club Patio
• An Elegant Rotunda Dining Room (Like the Hyatt Regency in Dallas)
• A Famous Landmark (Like The Wrigley Mansion Club in Phoenix)
• A Garden Luncheon (with White Linens and Crystal)